The Power of Deep Listening

In 2005, my Uncle Paul Donoghue, Ph.D. with his partner Mary Siegel, Ph.D. wrote “Are You Really Listening?” I had the pleasure of promoting the book and the unique opportunity to learn how to really listen. The book was eye opening. I realized that I was never taught to really listen. As the youngest of four, I was taught how to be heard, defend, manipulate and in a way, win. I was a master debater. Until I read that book, I hadn’t realized that I wasn’t really listening at all.

I was recently working with a client on their pitch process and those learnings came flooding back. In one session, it was obvious that they weren’t actually listening. Really listening is a skill that few have mastered especially in the agency world. Here are my key takeaways from the book on how to master active listening to transform agency-client relationships and dramatically improve new business success rates.

Beyond the Pitch Deck

For decades, agencies have relied on polished presentations, creative previews, and rehearsed speeches to win new business. However, the most successful agencies have discovered that winning begins long before the pitch deck is opened. It starts with shutting up and truly listening.

The Cost of Poor Listening

Research shows that most people, including seasoned advertising professionals, remember only about 25% of what they hear and usually that 25% is selective to what is important to the agency. In new business situations, this leads to:

  • Misaligned presentations that don't address core client needs

  • Missed opportunities to connect on deeper business challenges

  • Solutions that solve the wrong problems

  • Wasted resources on misdirected creative work

  • Lost pitches despite strong creative concepts

The Five Levels of Listening

Drawing from "Are You Really Listening?", here's how agencies can implement deeper listening practices in their new business process:

1. Focus on Self

The Problem: Many agency executives are so focused on their presentation that they're barely present in client conversations, mentally rehearsing their next point instead of absorbing what's being said.

The Solution: Begin every client meeting with a conscious decision to be fully present. Put away phones, close laptops, and maintain eye contact. Pause and ask if there are any questions. Seems obvious but we have all rushed through presentations or assume that our brilliance is obvious. News flash, it usually isn’t.

2. Defending

The Problem: When questioned about “the work” agency executives often default to defend mode with an underlying tendency to show how smart they are.

The Solution: Get curious. Practice active listening that requires genuine engagement: asking relevant follow-up questions. Find the why and summarize key points back to the client.

3. Selective Listening

The Problem: Hearing only what confirms pre-existing ideas about the client's needs. It is easy to do when you want to win the client over and demonstrate that you are the best at solving the problem.

The Solution: Challenge your assumptions by actively seeking information that might contradict your initial hypotheses. Doing this often helps with the strategic framework and pitch deck set up.

4. Attentive Listening

The Problem: Attentive listening focuses primarily on the words being said, missing crucial non-verbal and emotional cues. It is easy to ignore what is actually being communicated when you solely focus on the words and not the context.

The Solution: Pay attention to tone, body language, and what isn't being said. Notice which topics energize the client and which create tension. Pay attention to each member of the client team, they have different POVs and needs, ensure you capture them.

5. Empathic Listening

The Problem: Few agencies reach this level, where listening goes beyond business challenges to understand the human elements affecting decisions. In pitch meetings, we tend to judge rather than empathize with what the client is actual experiencing.

The Solution: Practice listening not just for facts and challenges, but also the context:

  • Personal motivations and fears

  • Career implications

  • Internal political dynamics

  • Individual definitions of success

Implementing Deep Listening in the Pitch Process

Pre-Pitch Research

  • Conduct stakeholder interviews focused on listening rather than selling

  • Ask open-ended questions and resist the urge to offer immediate solutions

  • Record conversations (with permission) to review for missed nuances

  • Have multiple team members listen independently to spot different insights

During Chemistry Meetings

  • Allocate 70% of the time to listening and 30% to talking

  • Use the "Rule of Three": wait three seconds after someone stops speaking before responding

  • Practice reflective listening by periodically summarizing what you've heard

  • Note down exact phrases clients use – they often reveal underlying concerns

Pitch Development

  • Build proposals around actual client language and concerns

  • Reference specific conversations and insights gathered

  • Demonstrate how your understanding evolved through listening

  • Address unstated needs you discovered through careful observation

The Competitive Advantage of Listening

Agencies that master deep listening gain several distinct advantages:

  1. Better Brief Interpretation Understanding not just what clients say they want, but what they truly need

  2. Stronger Relationships Building trust through demonstrated understanding and empathy

  3. More Effective Solutions Creating work that solves real business challenges rather than assumed ones

  4. Higher Win Rates Standing out in pitches through deeper client understanding

  5. Longer Client Retention Starting relationships with a foundation of mutual understanding

Measuring Listening Effectiveness

To improve listening skills across the agency, implement these metrics:

  • Track the ratio of listening to talking in new business meetings

  • Monitor how many client phrases and concerns are directly addressed in proposals

  • Assess how many unexpected insights were gathered during discovery

  • Measure how often clients say "You really understand our business"

The Path Forward

In an industry obsessed with having the next big idea, the most powerful tool might be the ability to truly hear what clients are saying – and what they're not. By implementing deep listening practices from "Are You Really Listening?", agencies can transform their new business approach from a presentation-centered model to a relationship-centered one.

Remember: The goal isn't to be the smartest agency in the room, but to be the one that best understands the client's world. In the end, clients don't buy what you're selling – they buy how well you understand their needs.

The best creative solutions begin with understanding, and understanding begins with listening. In the competitive world of agency new business, this might be the most important creative skill of all.

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